Angry Birds Decoded

I am writing this post after having played Angry Birds on my phone (or at least attempting to). Having failed level 2 for tenth consecutive time (I blame the Angry Birds Franchise) I felt defeated. I attempted to reassure myself with positive thoughts. I practiced deep breathing exercises. I used "I" statements while talking to my phone. I was even willing to take part in conflict resolution exercises. With it's blinking screen with the words failed pasted across it I couldnt help but feel that my iphone was lying there mocking me. Clearly not as invested in this process as I was I became increasingly angry. I  tried to regulate my anger, identify where I felt it in my body, practiced more deep breathing exercises, counted backwards from twenty, hit a pillow, drew pictures, listened to kenny j etc.... Though some of it did help I still felt at a loss..I desperately  tried to resist the urge of throwing my phone across my room.

The issue of anger management is of huge concern in schools and is an issue that all of us struggle with. Anger is a normal and healthy emotion. Anger can help clarify relationships, lead to self discovery,  give a sense of control and act as a motivator for change. So when is anger bad?  When anger gets out of control it  can be destructive and lead to problems in school work and in relationships.

The first step in anger management is realizing that it's ok to feel angry. The second step is to identify physical (increased heart rate, tightness in chest, feeling flushed), emotional (clenched fist, slamming door, pacing, raised voice) and cognitive cues (thoughts that occur in response to anger provoking events) that lead to anger. The third step is identifying the source behind your anger. Is it shame, embarrassment,  sadness, fear, frustration, feeling hurt, worry, anxiety, dissappointment?

Once you've been able to identify the source of your anger its worth noting that people act to anger in different ways. Some might act immediately while others may suppress their feelings. The natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively (yelling, hitting). However, this is not usually appropriate due to social norms and common sense. So in order to avoid inappropriate behaviors, cussing or in my case throwing my self righteous phone  across my room while cussing in four different languages ( as I love to multitask)  it is extremely important to practice certain preventive techniques (Distancing, Self talk, Tuning in, Self Control, Humor, Self Care). Distancing techniques involve going for walks and refusing to get drawn into discussions that can trigger anger. In regards to self talk - say to yourself "worse things can happen", as angry thoughts creep in shout "STOP! STOP! STOP!, tell yourself that your anger will pass and that people often say things they dont mean when they're angry. Tune in  to your feelings. Practice self control : Stop-Think-Act, practice deep breathing, count  backwards from 20, take a break from the situation.  It is worth noting that you are more likely to get angry when you're hungry, anxious, lonely and tired. Another preventive technique involves humor. Silly humor, laughing at oneself/situation, reading comics or watching comedies can help defuse anger. Finally, take care of yourself - make  time everyday to reflect on issues that are bothering you, eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, have a good night's rest and most importantly make personal time for yourself. Practicing these preventive techniques will enable you to feel better about yourself and help repair relationships.



Now excuse me while I try to repair my relationship with my phone. It may take a while. You might want to  put your feet up and tune into Dr.Drew's Celebrity Rehab or  Dr.Phil to keep you amused for the next couple hours. On second thoughts.....